Dear Family and Loved Ones: 

 

When Nafessa and I got married, we talked about whether or not either of us should change our name and even contemplated creating a new last name that is unique to us. We explored the history of women changing their name to their husbands last name and got curious around its roots. We quickly decided that was not for us. (No shame or judgment for anyone who does decide to do that… we just did not feel it was right for us).   

 

Everything about our relationship is a bit unconventional: we are interracial (a marriage that was illegal during our parents lifetime), we are interfaith: this is widely shunned in the faith practice I (Michael) was raised in. We have chosen to be child-free: a decision that is often misunderstood or confusing for others. We are neurodiverse, which can make for some interesting and fun dynamics in any relationship!  Today, I wanted to share a step I have taken that is a bit unconventional yet rooted in deep respect for my past, deep love in the present and deep hope for our future together: 

 

I have legally changed my name to Michael Pyaar Kassim. 

 

Throughout my adulthood, I have been reflecting on the significance and origin of my birth name.  My last name, Williams, is derived from being a servant or descendant of King William. My desire is to better align my name to my essence (how I show up in the world) and to honor the beautiful relationship I have with Nafessa and to more accurately reflect the future we want to build together.  Therefore, I chose to take Nafessa’s last name as my own  - Kassim is a variant of the Arabic boy’s name Qasim, meaning “one who distributes love and joy”.  

 

I have further chosen to change my middle name from David (named after my father) to Pyaar which means “Love” in Urdu/ Hindi.  Those who knew my dad will appreciate this as he was one who loved deeply and was always saying “I love you MORE”.  I find it very fitting that his name is replaced with a word meaning love.  Further, love is the common foundation of the two faith practices Nafessa and I were both raised in and love is the ultimate value we prioritize and desire to share with the world.   

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I surprised Nafessa with this name change on our 3rd Anniversary and it was not something she asked me (or expected me) to do.  I also want to acknowledge the use of two names from Arabic and Urdu/Hindi languages, origins which are not my own, but that of my wife.  My intention is purely out of love and unity and not cultural exotification. I want to acknowledge that it could be seen that way, and clarify that is not my intention.

 

I was taught from a very young age that,  “a good name is more desirable than great riches”. My parents named me Michael and instilled Pyaar (Love) in my soul and this love has been matched and exponentially grown with Nafessa and it is with honor I take the last name, Kassim officially becoming “one who distributes” love and joy!